


You Satisfy Me

by GreyAnthem



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ? - Freeform, Abuse, Animal Death, Blood, Blood and Gore, But not forever, Child Death, Death, Eren and Levi are the same age, Eventual Smut, Gore, M/M, Mutilation, Slow Build, Unrequited Love, Yandere, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), dark themes, psychopath levi, psychopath!levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:57:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyAnthem/pseuds/GreyAnthem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once he set his eyes on Eren he decided that Eren would be his and his alone. And he would do anything to keep it that way. Getting his hands dirty was no problem, as long as he had Eren's eyes on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Satisfy Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! I tried writing a fic before but it didn't go so well but I decided to try again! This idea is a bit dark for my standards and is about something I will have to google heaps about (and hope no one is worried about my internet history) but I think it could be exciting to write about! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> Warning: Dark themes (abuse, death, animal cruelty), much repetition that is meant to be there (hopefully it won't get annoying but it is only for this chapter if I make another one)

Levi found himself losing fragments of who he used to be after he met Eren Jaeger. 

He didn’t remember when he was younger that for many years his mother left him with his uncle every morning only to return very late to pick him up and take him home. He didn’t remember how his uncle had just kept him in a room full of books to “entertain himself” until he remembered that children needed to be fed to.

He didn’t remember how she actually used stealth to quietly get passed the lounge-room to go upstairs after they returned home too late and his father was already back from work. He didn't remember her putting Levi to bed and then acting like she had been asleep when her husband had returned home. 

He didn’t remember the days that his mother would forget to take him home from his uncle’s. 

He didn’t remember how he woke up to loud yelling as his mother and father had one of their “adult discussions” downstairs in the lounge-room. He didn't remember how every venomous word that they spat at each other dripped through his ears, leaving acid-like burns on his consciousness. 

He didn’t remember the day that his mother disappeared for three years without a single word of goodbye to him. 

He didn’t remember the days that his father slapped him for doing small things wrong, like forgetting to clean his room, or for not getting the mirror as perfect as he wanted it. He didn’t remember the days that his father hit him hard enough on the face so that he became unrecognizable because his father claimed that he “looked too much like his mother.”

He didn’t remember the sound of something heavy being dragged across his lounge-room carpet, prompting him to head downstairs and hide behind the rails to see his father dragging what looked like a very large garbage-bag towards the door to the garage. He didn’t remember seeing the drops of red that leaked from it. 

He didn’t remember the day that his mother finally returned to him, only for her to face his father with a gun cocked at his head asking where ‘he’ is. He didn’t remember how the last word he heard from her were “it was easy to find someone to love more than you” before several loud bangs echoed through the house. He did remember how empty her eyes were as they seemingly stared at her young son while his father dragged her body down to the garage. He didn’t remember how her last words burned into his mind, along with the image of her soulless eyes. 

He remembered how her body left large puddles of red on the floor. He remembered how he quietly went downstairs and touched a particularly wet patch of red on the carpet. He remembered how it coloured his fingers. He remembered it’s sticky residue. He remembered the strong smell. He remembered his first taste. 

He didn’t remember how a night later he woke up with the silhouette of his father looming over him as cold, sharp metal was being stroked softly against his face, his father murmuring a mantra of “he looks too much like her.” 

He didn’t remember the loud bang of his bedroom door being slammed open, causing his father to move his hand quickly in panic which slashed the blade that was pressed against Levi’s skin from the middle of his cheek, through the eye and up to the top of his eyebrow. 

He didn’t remember his father being driven away in a white vehicle with flashing red and blue at the top. He didn’t remember the gentle paramedic who said that he was lucky his father just skipped passed his eye so his eye wasn’t damaged.

He didn’t remember the weird questions that the tall men dressed in suits asked him about his parents or the man that his father took down to his garage. He didn't remember the disappointment that was on his uncle’s face when they told him that he now had custody over the young boy. 

He didn’t remember being told that his father committed suicide in his cell. 

He did remember feeling empty. 

He didn’t remember moving towns. He didn’t remember how he lived his pre-school childhood either locked in the room of his uncle’s books that he couldn't read but tried to read, or down the road in the forest where there was a rushing stream. 

He didn’t remember how one day he took a knife from the unprotected draws in the kitchen. He didn’t remember heading down to the stream to find a bird with a broken wing lying on the ground. 

He didn’t remember what gave him the impulse to pierce its abdomen over and over again. 

He remembered feeling a bit satisfied. 

He didn’t remember lying the now mutilated bird body on a long rock on the side of the stream. He didn’t remember adding another ten animal bodies next to the bird. 

He remembered a small,warm buzz in his blood. He remembered how for a little while the emotional burning in his head faded. 

He didn’t remember his first day of school. 

He didn’t remember the boy named Farlan. He didn’t remember how he found out that Farlan couldn’t swim. He didn’t remember asking Farlan to play with him by the stream one afternoon. 

He remembered the euphoric buzz he got as he pushed Farlan’s small body into the rushing stream. He remembered how he watched the boy’s body get thrown by the rushing water against rocks on the sides of the stream again and again as nature battered the child over and over as he went further downstream. 

He remembered smirking at the unrecognisable body of his classmate floating away from him. 

He didn’t remember going home, leaving Farlan’s body to keep drifting away. He didn’t remember acting like nothing happened, a facade of normality covering his afterglow. 

He didn’t remember how he was questioned by cops, bringing them to the conclusion that he knew nothing about the disappearance of his classmate. 

He didn’t remember the girl named Isabel. He didn’t remember promising her to see the best view in town. He remembered the racing of his heart as he took her up to the cliff-face of the sea and shoved her down its peak. He remembered his awe as he watched her fall and scream, a high pitched wail of a young child that soon became a small figure to his eye that was swallowed by the water and rocks. 

He didn’t remember being questioned by police again with the same result. 

He didn’t remember only doing things to animals for a while after those incidents, getting extra creative to sate himself until things were calm enough for him to try again. 

He didn’t remember being known as the reject amongst his classmates throughout his junior school life, but still being skilled at manipulation and the interface of people as his mind and ideas grew with time.

He didn’t remember when his uncle began to teach him how to defend himself after he was almost raped by one of his clients that came to the house for some business that had a 93% chance of being illegal. 

He remembered liking the rush of his body moving in the exact precise way to cause damage to another human being. He had considered it an art, almost worshipping the actions when he performed them. 

He didn’t remember finally getting the courage to kill another when he reached his first year of senior school. He didn’t remember his twelve year old self sharpening a large combat knife he had found amongst several weapons in his uncle’s things. 

He remembered the stealth he used to sneak into the house of a middle aged man who had refused to give up two seats which were occupied by the man and his small suitcase for a pregnant woman and an elderly man. He remembered those murky brown eyes flying open as Levi stabbed him through the abdomen over and over again. He remembered the sensation of piercing the meaty skin and cutting it down the middle to see everything that pulsed beneath. He remembered so much red behind his eyes and soaking into his shirt and skin. He remembered bathing in the stickiness of it, the only time he would welcome something unbelievably filthy touching his skin. 

He didn’t remember going home with another jacket covering his soggy clothes. He didn’t remember his uncle not giving a single care about where the boy had been. He didn’t remember the pain he went through to finally remove the dodgy stains from the fabrics he had dirtied. 

He remembered adding twelve more bodies to his mental list of people he had put down. He remembered his enjoyment as he switched up between each death, ranging from being shot in the forehead to being hung by a noose. He remembered switching from killing strangers to people he knew personally. He remembered being so satisfied. He remembered perfecting his lying abilities and alibis each time when they were asked for on a rare occasion.

He remembered almost being caught by a camera. He remembered taking up a software class. He remembered the problem never arising again. 

He didn’t remember the day that his uncle told him that Levi was to move south while he stayed in a different place out west due to something wrong happening with his ‘business’. He was to receive money every fortnight to cater for daily needs so that he could survive by himself. 

He didn’t remember moving from his home town to a foreign world by himself at the age of 16. 

He remembered feeling lonely in the new home his uncle bought for him. He remembered feeling on edge. 

He didn’t remember killing his neighbour’s cat in his discomfort. 

He didn’t remember walking down the hallway of his new school. He didn’t remember the new, unfamiliar air swallowing him as he attempted to keep calm. 

He didn’t remember how in his first lesson he was forced to introduce himself, which resulted in a quick “I’m Levi” and the uninterrupted awkwardness for what seemed like years as his class stared at their new student with cold judgements. He remembered one person in the back row loudly muttering “midget”, causing the whole class to erupt with laughter. 

He remembered an overwhelming sense of dread coming over him. He remembered how it was quickly interrupted by another student from the other side of the room muttered loud enough “At least he doesn’t have a stupid horse face” which caused all laughter to be redirected to the boy who had made the “midget” comment, who in which hearing the horse comment shrunk back into his chair with a scowl. 

He remembered sitting by himself on a bench outside after his class, staring at his chicken and mayo sandwich with empty appetite. He remembered wanting to leave everything. He remembered his blood running cold, making something inside him begin to buzz, to desire that sticky warmth that he loved. 

He remembered his train of thought being abruptly halted as black sandshoes entered his line of vision. He remembered lifting his head and finally taking note of the shaggy brown-haired boy that had suddenly appeared in front of him. 

What eyes. What beautiful eyes. Levi originally thought that they were just a teal-green, but they shimmered intensely with divine vibrance. They reminded him of home when the ocean would catch the right amount of light and illuminate itself for miles. Similarly like the ocean, Levi could drown in them. 

“Do..D-do you..” The boy began to speak, a flush beginning to grow on his cheeks as he stuttered, but still kept going with confidence.

“Do you want some company?” He finally asked, boldness finally overcoming his nerves. 

Levi was stunned for a second. _Am I not the ‘midget’ outcast everyone dismisses? Who the fuck is this kid?_

The boy smiled with hope as he waited for Levi’s response. As time ticked by the brightness in his eyes began to fade with the assumption that Levi would ask him to go away. 

Levi, feeling very foreign to any social interaction at all, and after considering all the negative outcomes, finally settled for replying with a drawn out “Sure...?”

The boy’s eyes lit up as he shuffled with a slight skip to the spot next to Levi,deciding to sit as appropriately close as he could. Levi’s heart pounded in his chest, he wasn’t sure how to actually be nice to someone without the intention of leading them to their death. _'How do you ‘small talk?’ Do I ask about hobbies? Family? Subjects? Job? Types of crap? Where do I begin?'_

Luckily, it seemed that he didn’t have the reins in this social interaction. 

“I’m Eren.” He reached his arm across his body to shake hands with levi. 

_Eren._

He remembered how his skin felt like fire as he finally grasped the courage to shake Eren’s hand. 

He remembered how his blood began to rush rapidly through his veins, how a sudden warmth scattered through his body, how Eren’s skin felt like it fitted nicely against Levi’s. Eren was slightly shaking too, so it covered Levi’s own nerves. 

“I saw that we have quite a few classes together,” Eren began, “So maybe we can sit together and stuff.” 

Eren let a small silence hang in the hair, his eyebrows furrowed as he rolled something through his mind. 

“I’m sorry about what happened in first period today.” Eren stated. “Jean can be a real ass both metaphorically and in the physical sense, but I talked to him after class and made sure he doesn’t bother you anymore. He was a dick to try and embarrass you.”

Levi looked away then, remembering how it felt to be laughed at by his future peers. _‘Once again i’m the joke of the class.’_

“I hope you don’t feel bad about period one.” Eren interrupted his thoughts again. “If you think people will look at you weird don’t worry. I talked to some people and they think you’re cool.”

“How is that?” Levi asked, annoyance in his voice. _‘Stupid kid thinks lying will comfort me.’_

“Yeah! They think you have nice hair!” Eren replied. 

“Nice...hair?” Levi repeated Eren’s with confusion. 

“Oh! And they think that you look a bit ‘dark and mysterious’ you know? It’s really enticing.” Eren beamed with encouragement. 

Levi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Enticing?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Levi stared at Eren blankly. _‘This is some runny diarrhea shit that this kid is making up.’_ Levi mused. 

“Why are you acting so weird with me?” Levi demanded. “Do you want something?”

“Just your company...?” Eren replied in a pleading tone.

Levi looked blankly at the kid. Eren was staring back at him, his shimmering eyes now resembled that of a puppy’s, excited and pleading to have attention. He couldn't help himself. 

“Alright kid, you have my attention.”

Eren began asking Levi different questions about his life. Some were the default like family and hobbies which Levi tried to dismiss as quickly as possible. Lucky Eren was able to catch on and dropped it quickly. Some of the questions allowed them to find things in common like Dance Moms and gaming. Some others were to fill in the gaps comfortably with things like ‘would you rather..’ or rather deep things like “Do you think there will be something after death?” which seemed to make Levi’s heart skip a beat but he was able to discuss it without arousing suspicion. 

Finally the bell rang for the next class. Students began to flock for the entrances, leaving Eren and Levi to wait until the crowd had thinned a bit. 

“Well that was nice.” Eren said plainly but still cheerfully all the same, “I hope we can talk again like that, Levi.”

Eren began to walk away from him, heading for the lockers. 

“I'll see you around.” He waved back as he jogged inside, leaving Levi standing there mustering the ability to do a small wave back at Eren as he disappeared into the building. 

Once he left, Levi let out a large breath of air. His right hand clutched at his shirt, fisting it painfully tight. 

_What is this?_

_What is this feeling?_

After his first meeting with Eren he remembered feeling a strange fullness. He felt complete in a way that he hadn't been able to feel for a long time. No anger, mutilation or blood bath was enough to fill the emptiness that he had felt for almost 12 years. But now by just being able to connect with another human being made him feel the pure warmth killing never gave him. 

Levi had talked with other people before, but his consciousness had never had a reaction like this. For the first time in a while he didn’t just feel annoyed at communication.  
He felt completely and euphorically satisfied. 

He also felt another part of him awaken. A different kind of craving that he never experienced. 

The uncontrollable sense of yearning to be able to sit and talk with another person; with Eren again. 

Finally dragging himself out of his thoughts, he realised that sitting on the bench for much longer would cause him to be late to class. 

He remembered walking inside the building with the thoughts of a shaggy haired kid, only to have his eyes catch sight of the object of his craving down the hallway. 

Eren was gathering a few books from his locker. But he wasn't alone. 

Next to the locker was a black haired girl, part of her head was buried in a red scarf that hung around her neck as she mumbled through the material. Eren talked back, that familiar light in his eyes as he replied to everything she said. At one point she said something which made Eren throw back his head with laughter, the joyous sound reaching Levi’s ears, making the dark haired boy flutter slightly before feeling the complete opposite. 

Levi felt his blood boil. 

_“Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck does she think she is?”_ Levi’s head spun with rage. _“How dare she come close to Eren? How dare she make him laugh like that? How dare she even speak to him? How dare she even look at my Eren?”_

_My Eren?_

During his internal bout of rage, Eren had finally gathered all of his books and begun walking to class, but not before turning back slightly and noticing Levi.

Levi almost bolted with the terror of getting caught, but Eren turned his body and began walking backwards to his class to look at the dark-haired boy. 

Levi remembered how the light at the end of the corridor filled around Eren, giving him a supernaturally angelic appearance. He remembered how Eren smiled at him, a smile full of kindness and acceptance and wonder and awe and absolute pure beauty. He remembered how Eren’s aura flowed through him, setting him ablaze as he bathed in the presence of Eren’s vibrant gaze. 

He remembered thinking that this boy would be his saving grace. He remembered thinking that that boy would lift him past the sky, the stars and the sun into a plane where he could keep flying higher and higher passed the imagination of man on the wings that consisted only of Eren. 

He remembered thinking in that moment about how much he wanted that boy to be his. He remembered forgetting the world that is sin apart from the pure holiness and perfection that was Eren. 

He remembered how he wanted that gaze to be on him always. He remembered wanting to be Eren’s everything. 

He remembered letting Eren in. He remembered falling for him, dreaming about him, crying for him, wanting to die for him.

He remembered letting Eren’s being hold him and love him, letting him invade his heart and finally devour him.

**Author's Note:**

> Well there you go! Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know if I should keep going with this, feedback is very much appreciated <3


End file.
